1 Sitting quietude waiting for someone special to give you attention and hating yourself is the new feeling experience in my dear diary. I remember those days when I was rude, mean and blunt with people. I abused and ignored them much worse then I feel ignored these days. I didn't let them intervene in my conversation. I blocked them frequently like they are pieces of shit but not anymore. I am sorry to all the people I've hurt. All the things I've said. I always thought I don't need to be sorry for what kind of person I am but now that I have realized how much it hurts. I am sorry and I am sorry, very much.